Returning to the ancient and long lost marsupial “roo” to it’s natural and historical habitat the Wyoming game and fish released 90 ambassadors of the species to the Big Piney anticline. It’s hoped that the species ability to hop fences will assist in migration.
Speaking to reporters of the Jackson Hole News, large species specialist B. Hugger of the Center for Biological Diversity said she saw no potential conflicts with other non human species. Referencing the biblical ability of the lion to lie down with the lamb Ms. Hugger had little worry the species would simply become dinner for wolves, grizzlies, and cougars.
Citing concerns for species and landscape wide compatibility Ms. Jamie Rappaport Clark of Defenders of (certain kinds of) Wildlife had previously conducted a Feng Shui study using the most advanced and modern scientific methods. Ms. Clark reports the species is “admirably suited to make vast improvements to the lack of water in the area using the proven methods of trophic cascades”, the cascades being the wet part. She suggested everyone watch “Wolves Change Rivers” one more time.
Not everyone was overjoyed with the return of the species to the landscape. Down in Riverton Mr Sheep Dipper, a rancher drinking whiskey at 2PM at the Stockman’s Bar voiced worry over possible cross breeding with the jackalope. “Once one those hip hoppin fuckers gets horny all bets are off” stated Mr. Dipper. Sheep also retold the story of the conservation suggestions of the USFS and Sierra Club and their coyote control..
“The Sierra Club and the U S Forest Service were presenting an alternative to the Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a “more humane” solution to this issue.
What they were proposing was for the animals to be captured alive. The males would then be castrated and let loose again. This was actually proposed by the Sierra Club and the US Forest Service.
All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes. Finally an old fellow wearing a big cowboy hat in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said, “ Son, I don’t think you understand our problem here. These coyotes are eatin’ our sheep not fuckin’ em...”
The meating never really got back to order.”
Only time will tell if the kangaroos fare better than the de nutted coyotes.